Such Sweet Sorrow
by HilsK
Summary: Buffy and Spike's final moments together. Future-fic


Title: Such Sweet Sorrow 

Author: Hilary 

Rating: R for some cussing

Disclaimer: Everything I have borrowed from Joss.

Summery: Buffy and Spike's final moments together. Future-fic

Spoilers: None, aside from the fact that Spike will be on Angel this Season. I figure everyone knows that now

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

"Spike, I love you."

The first time I told him this he didn't believe me, and a few moments later he died saving the world. This time, however, it's different. A small smile flickers across his pale face as his body trembles in my arms.

"I-" he coughs, a wet rattling sound that jars his whole body. I hold him a little tighter. "I know."

He doesn't have much time, and the tears I'm shedding are now dripping onto his face. It wasn't supposed to be like this. When Spike was returned to us a few months after his sacrifice, human, I immediately saw us growing old together. Having the normal life that Angel had wanted me to have. I was done baking.

But Fate, the Powers, God or whoever the fuck claims to be watching over us clearly had different ideas. A mugger of all things; he held us up at gunpoint while we were walking home, and when Spike tried to defend us the guy shot him. Right in the chest in front of me.

"Buffy?" Spike whispers, shifting ever so slightly in my arms and wincing when it hurt him. I can feel his blood, his life, warm and flowing onto my hands. I brush my fingers over his face to offer some small amount of comfort and leave a red stain, marring his handsome face.

"Hold on." I say, trying to be strong. "The ambulance will be here soon."

We both know it will be too late but we make the pretence that these aren't our final moments. He won't be coming back again. 

"I love you." He says, and when I lean down to kiss him I try to ignore the fact that his lips are as cold now as they were when he was a vampire. 

The light is fading from his eyes now and all I can do is hold him as he leaves me and moves on to what I know will be a better place. Maybe I'll see him there someday.

_Parting is such sweet sorrow  
That I shall say good night til it be morrow_

* * *

_1 week later_

I feel cold. A chilling emptiness that haunts my soul. I've barely spoken to anyone since I lost Spike. I spend my evenings patrolling, even though there is really no need, and during the day I sleep. In my dreams at least, I can be happy, although I'm starting to forget what happiness is. Every time I feel it, even for an instant, something happens to take it away. I'm starting to understand how Angel must feel.

I turn a corner and my nostrils flare. No, it can't be. I sniff again. It is. I know Spike's scent as well as I know my own. It's him, it has to be. 

I follow my nose and catch a brief glimpse of bleached hair. My heart is pounding now. He's back.

"Spike!"

I break into a run, not looking at anything around me, just intent on finding my love.

Suddenly the scent disappears, the cold is back and I feel alone once more. Maybe I imagined the whole thing, but all I know is that he's gone.

I sink to my knees, ignoring the way the early morning dew soaks my jeans. I bury my face in my hands and allow myself to grieve.

Minutes pass and the sun begins to creep over the horizon, bathing the world in a deep shade of red. The light does little to warm me but I raise my head to take in the colour. 

I barely see the demon before it's on top of me. A white light flashes and for a moment I'm blinded. When I can finally see again tears of joy begin to flow.

My mother is stood in front of me, bathed in white and with a gentle smile on her face.

"Welcome home, Buffy."

I throw myself into her arms, sobbing. A feeling of total peace and love surrounding me. The cold has gone and has been replaced by warmth. 

"There's someone else you need to see." She whispers, pulling back from me and stepping aside.

My breath catches and I raise my hand to my mouth, as though it will help ease my breathing. Spike smiles and steps forward.

"This place isn't half bad." He smiles, opening his arms to me.

For a moment I just stand there, waiting to wake up from this dream or for something to shatter the feeling of pure happiness. When nothing happens I hurl myself at him, throwing my arms around his neck and kissing him with more love and passion than I have ever felt before. My mom was right.

I'm home.

The End


End file.
